


That one klance fic where coffee somehow turned into the third main protagonist

by Zinae



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Baker!Lance, I a seriously wondering whether Keith is in love with the coffee or with lance..., I cried of laughter, I mean it, I talk about coffee way too much in here, I'm making it one., Infernal coffee from hell, Is Coffee/Keith/Lance a ship?, Lance fails so hard omg, Lance is an idiot, M/M, TattooArtist!Keith, That one Au I promised to write for an Amino pic and finally finished, alternative universe, its awkward, keith is an idiot, the pining, third main protagonist tbh, you have no idea
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-02
Updated: 2017-10-02
Packaged: 2019-01-08 08:27:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12250692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zinae/pseuds/Zinae
Summary: Lance is quietly humming under his breath while filling the showcase, barely registering that there is someone walking towards their doors with purpose.And a very dark, grumpy face.So when he picks up the tray, Hunk gives him his usual “Lance…” warning, he smiles at his friend, as usual. “I got it, man, c’mon!” and then he whirled around with the same gorgeous smile the second he heard the bell.Up until then everything is usual. and then he sees his customer.“Welcome to A… Altea… Bakery, how can I help… you.”His brain short circuits right about then and the only thing Hunk hears is a loud crash and something that faintly resembles a whale dying.





	That one klance fic where coffee somehow turned into the third main protagonist

So… what do we have here?  
A bakery.  
Alright, we will start with that.  
Nestled in a small shopping alley, somewhat hidden in between a bigger clothing shop and some kind of shop for writing utensils (And the occasional hands and crafts days that were becoming something of a weekly occurrence) is a gorgeous little bakery.  
You can find it on your way to one of the bigger malls if you look for it and if you go in? You won't be disappointed.  
If you enter (and maybe even several feet away from the building) you will be drowned in the glorious smell of cinnamon and other pastries, warmth will flood your body and you will always swear that there is the faint trace of coffee left in the air.  
If you ask, that would be the coffee of one of the clerks, a tiny creature of incredible intelligence, who mostly hides in the back and pretty much took over the art of inventory and accounting. (And each and every clerk will warn you about the coffee. While they do sell it, the buyers are usually students that spend the last week awake and need the extra caffeine or people that don’t mind the almost acidic strength of that concoction Pidge ordered one day and refused to change. At some point even Allura gave up, after Pidge threatened to marry that monster of a coffee machine so it could stay. It would not have been legal but the thought would count and no one would ever stand in the way of love. don’t ask.)  
The person that will probably greet you is either a beautiful goddess of a woman or a charming young man with the smile of a burning sun.  
Allura is our owner and the big boss, as her colleagues tend to call her. but she is not our protagonist, at least not today.  
Today we will tell you about Lance, the other clerk we will find at the front.  
He is a bit much at first, all flirty remarks, gentle smiles and way too much charisma. And, boy, does he know how to use it. He is also the biggest dork to ever work at Altea Bakery .  
(We will never tell you about that one time he charmed a bunch of Bikers off their feet after seeing a Zelda Sticker on one of their bikes. Those guys were waiting for a friend and well… They got to talking. Ten minutes later there was a small argument about some show and the ships and Lance just… He had a bunch of scary friends now. A bunch of scary, purple friends who loved bikes and purple tattoos. And knives.)

And today is the day his soul will die and go to heaven™.

Because you have to know, there is another shop a few doors down. Voltron Tattoo is a small tattoo shop with three very talented men working there.  
The respective owner would be Coran, an… eccentric man with a beast of a moustache and the wisdom of a man who had lived his life to the fullest. His two former apprentices, now colleagues would be Takashi Shirogane, Shiro for short, and Keith. And if anyone outside their little alley-street ever bullied one of those two treasures, well. Beware the old ladies. Shiro is pretty much the darling of everyone, the guy everyone goes to, the guy you can rely on and pretty much the guy all elder women use to get their groceries home. (They also stuff him full of cookies and give him some more for his “cat of a brother” to fatten him up.)  
Keith is… Well, as previously mentioned, he is a cat. A stray cat you can only pray to find but if push comes to shove… don’t ask just what hole this guy jumped out of. He won’t tell you. But he will kick ass, make sure you are alright and then ninja his way out again.The elderly only see him when he helps his brother with the shopping or is being send on another errand for the shop but they always scold him for never eating enough and how he needs to learn to get along with people. the poor boy is usually way too overwhelmed to answer and just nods along bashfully, sending helpless looks towards shiro and begging him to save him.  
Shiro never does.  
Today is another errand day and this time Coran forgot his breakfast. And a hungry Coran is an insane Coran so Shiro just grabbed Keith and threw him out with a list of things they needed to get anyway.  
Altea Bakery was the closest thing with food Keith knew of and so he decided that yes, acidic coffee and too much sugar were a good idea.  
For a hyper old man.  
Well, his grave.

But we should cut back to Lance.  
Who is currently enjoying a slow day and helping out his colleague and best friend Hunk in the kitchen.  
More like, begging for the spoon with the cake batter.  
“But Huuuunk, pleeeeeease?”  
“Lance, Pidge called dibs, stop the puppy eyes, you know I can’t handle them!”, the giant teddybear whined and demonstratively turned away, “I don’t want to piss pidge off. Mad Pidge is bad Pidge! Also, you got the spoon yesterday. So please take those eyes away from me!!!”  
In a desperate attempt to get his friend away from him, Hunk thrusts a tray with pastries into Lance’s hands and shoos him outside, “Go fill this up, will you? It’s nearing hell-time and we are not repeating last week!”  
Laughing, the brown-haired boy obeys, cackling, and carefully balances the tray outside.  
hunk just sighs and puts another tray for Lance to put away and then decides to stay out of Lances way and maybe bring the spoon to Pidge before Lance gets creative and tries to steal that thing Mission Impossible Style.  
It had happened before and no one ever dared to tell Allura what really happened to the old showcase. It’s a well-kept secret of the three young adults and it will stay that way.  
Until they need blackmail, of course.  
But back to the story.  
Lance is quietly humming under his breath while filling the showcase, barely registering that there is someone walking towards their doors with purpose.  
And a very dark, grumpy face.  
So when he picks up the tray, Hunk gives him his usual “Lance…” warning, he smiles at his friend, as usual. “I got it, man, c’mon!” and then he whirled around with the same gorgeous smile the second he heard the bell.  
Up until then everything is usual. and then he sees his customer.  
“Welcome to A… Altea… Bakery, how can I help… you.”  
His brain short circuits right about then and the only thing Hunk hears is a loud crash and something that faintly resembles a whale dying.

Keith knows about the bakery. Corans vodka-niece, as he lovingly calls that warrior of a woman, is apparently the owner and the daughter of a family friend, so yes, Coran is a frequent visitor.  
Keith himself is not much of a bakery friend, mostly because their coffee sucks most of the time, being little more that coffee-scented water.  
And Keith likes his coffee about as black as his soul and close to burning his throat off for good. Maybe then people stop talking to him…  
People are scary. And difficult. And complicated.  
Bikes are nice. Tattoos are even nicer. They don’t talk.  
Sometime around “I will murder all of you if you talk to me” and “I really need to learn to say no…” he actually remembers that he has no idea what Shiro would want to eat.  
So he asks while walking into the bakery.  
@takashi: I’m here, U want s/t?  
And while he registers that he is being greeted, he only reacts when he hears the crash.  
Holy shit, that hue of blue should be illegal.  
Whoa.  
Okay, pretty face looking up at him, crap, be cool.  
Be. Cool, Keith, not grumpy, cool.  
“Are you always this clumsy?”  
Quiznak.  
Smooth, Keith, smooth.

Shit, tattoos, and purple eyes.  
Wait, were purple eyes even natural??? Oh dear heavens, this guy is pretty.  
LANCE BE PROFESSIONAL.  
“Nope, I’m way more graceful usually.”, somehow scrambling to his feet, Lance gives the customer a blinding smile  
When there are not ridiculously pretty people walking in.  
“I apologize for the delay, how may I help you?”, he still smiles as he gathers up the ruined batch of pastries (Somewhere in the back Hunk whines “Laaance, not the pastries… My cinnamon rolls… You killed my children…”) and he still smiles as he carries them behind the counter and leans on that thing, trying to look as suave as possible.  
Guess what? He fails. On his face.  
“This is awkward.”  
The guy above him snorts, “Graceful. Rght. Okay, I was told to get something with too much sugar to handle and a Latte with as much sugar as you’re allowed to give away, for me he strongest coffee you have and…” He glances at his phone, “Another Latte.”  
Lance grimaces, “Are you sure about the coffee? Ours is… Well, the spawn of evil drinks is constantly and I think it has demonic abilities. I swear it etched my mouth off…”  
Wow, was that a smile? Lance barely caught it under that frown.  
“Nevermind, you know what? One Latte, two coffees.”, now it was a smirk, “and that sugary stuff and a croissant. Dammit, Shiro, I’m gay, and this is way too gay for me…”  
He’s gay, hell yes.  
Lance didn’t know his name and this guy had a mullet.  
But he was pretty.  
But mullet.  
But pretty!!!  
Brain, keep working. Angst later.  
That guy pays his stuff and Lance watches him with interest, as he walks outside and pretty much inhales his coffee. Something inside him hurts. That stuff is made by the devil himself, fight him on it.  
The second he is out of earshot, Lance runs back and screams, “Hunk help, help, heple, that guy, he was hooooly oh my god, have you seen him?! I wanna cry he is so pretty but he has a mullet!! Why a mullet?! Why does it look good on him, holy…”  
Hunk just… stares for a moment. Snickers.  
And then just starts cackling.  
And of course that is the moment Pidge dashes downstairs, “What happened, did Lance walk into a wall again? Why didn’t you call me?!”  
Hunk wheezes, “He… oh my god.. Pidge, seriously, Lance…”  
A pout is slowly growing on Lance’s lips, “Hunk, this isn’t funny, this is serious. Did you see him? He has tattoos! Pretty ones! and… and…”  
By now Pidge caught on and is now holding onto the table, a positively evil grin spreading over his face, “You have a crush. On a random customer. Lance, this is ridiculous.”  
Hunk just keeps dying, “HE KILLED MY CINNAMON ROLLS FOR THIS GUY.”  
Lance just huffs and turns around.  
“I hate both of you.”

That evening he throws open the door to his mother’s house and just screams, “MUUUM, I have a crush on a guy with a mullet and IT’S TERRIBLE!”  
“That’s nice sweetheart, wash your hands and get your ass in here, dinner just got ready!”

For the next few days things are quiet, Lance calms down and Hunk and Pidge get bored of the teasing.  
That coffee guy doesn’t appear again, even though Pidge already likes him.  
“Hey, he likes my wife’s cooking, sooo, kudos to him.”, they shrug and grin as Hunk groans, “You guys are not married yet! And that monster doesn’t deserve you anyway!”  
Pidge just pats the coffee machine and coos, “He didn’t mean this, you are wonderful.”  
Lance ignores them. Allura just flees upstairs to check on paperwork and to get away from their madness.  
He has the late shift and it’s almost time for everyone but him to pack up and go home, so he will be patient. 

He is patient.  
Hunk is finally gone, Pidge is being picked up by their brother and Allura left with Hunk.  
(He saw that smile. He was so going to grill Hunk tomorrow.)  
And his shift was nearing its end.  
There are no customers and Lance totally uses the few minutes he has to sweep the shop. Singing.  
More like screaming lyrics and dancing with the broom, sometimes using it for an air guitar solo, sometimes turning it into a mic. Once into a pole.  
And of course that is the moment coffee guy walks in.  
“Uhm… I think I’ll just… leave.”  
The broom falls with a deafening noise and Lance whirls around, eyes wide and an expression of pure mortification on his face, “Oh crap, you saw that? Crap, wait, sorry, I can do this…” He breathes out and then smiles his usual smile. Something is totally screaming in the back of his head.  
“Hello sir, how may I help you?”  
“Coffee.”  
“Latte or normal?”  
“That stuff from last time. the strong one.”, woah, that guy looks dead on his feet. Even his hoodie looks like an empty potato sack, there are shadows under his eyes and when he reaches up and rubs at him, Lance maybe nawws for a second.  
His pokerface saves him. Barely.  
“Coming right up! Long day?”, keep talking about normal things, don’t flirt. don’t. Flirt. Yet.  
“You have no idea.”, the guy’s voice is quiet, rough, a little bit grumpy, but he is answering. That is something.  
Lance curses when he sees that there is no coffee left inside and reaches up to get a new package from the shelf above the machine, his shirt riding up that one inch. He will have to fix his shirt and apron later, bunched up like this they are awfully uncomfortable.  
“That sucks, buddy. One second, I’ll just refill the sacrifices to the beast and then you’ll have your coffee.”  
He honest to god winks.  
The guy, he will call him Mullet for now, snorts and nods, watching him like a hawk and focusing his stare on the mug of coffee the second it’s done.  
Again, he almost inhales that infernal concoction and shudders for a sec, “Thanks, i needed that. Another one to go… please.” Damn, that’s an awkward smile.  
But a sweet one.  
Lance mentally swoons.  
He is also not telling this Hunk tomorrow. 

Hunk figures it out the second Mullet walks in and Lance rips his newspaper in front of his face to hide that gigantic blush.  
Hunk figures it out the second Lance’s voice jumps five octaves when he talks to the grumpy customer, who just looks at him like he is really worried. Whether it’s about the sanity of the brunet or his coffee… No one ever finds out.  
And ooooh, that is teasing material Pidge is only too happy to exploit, so at some point Lance actually throws a glass at their head and they run upstair, still laughing at the beet-red face.  
“I’M NOT A BLUSHING VIRGIN!!!”  
“THEN STOP ACTING LIKE ONE!!”

So.. this is how the next few days, maybe weeks pass. Mullet comes, orders infernal coffee from hell, downs it, takes another one to go and Lance is left staring after him and smiling like a loon.  
At some point they actually start talking to each other and holy shit, Mullet is evil. And mean, hot mean, but mean.  
Pidge loves him. Apparently they are sharing their wife with Mullet now.  
Lance might be a teensy bit jealous.  
And maybe a lot scared, because when Mullet walks into the shop, wearing only a very fitting tanktop and really short shorts, Lance actually spits out his tea all over Allura. Who screams.  
(He is so dead later.)  
“Are you… okay?”, Mullet looks like he is questioning Lance’s sanity, Allura is glaring daggers at him and Lance? Lance is choking every time he so much as looks up.  
The whole disaster ends with Allura, bless his goddess, taking care of his crush and then turning towards her dying employee.  
“LANCELOT SEBASTIAN MCCLAIN!!!”  
Hunk winces, “Uuuuh, she used his full name, he is a goner… can I have his things?”  
Pidge, who is currently stealing a few cinnamon rolls, snorts in amusement, “This is gonna be good. Why are we out of popcorn again?”  
“Because you eat everything in your near vicinity while working?”  
“Oh, yeah, that.”  
Meanwhile Allura is decimating Lance to a very small whimpering mess of apologies and fear, “What is going on with you?! For the last few weeks you have been impossible!”, eyes furious, hands on her hips and she is still gorgeous, “Your behaviour has been ridiculous! Don’t get me wrong, you are great with most of the customers, but the second Keith walks into the shop, you just… wait.”  
The look of dawning realization and Lance reacting to it with growing mortification is hilarious enough to send Pidge once again off their chair. Cackling like the evil goblin they are.  
“You… you have a crush… on… KEITH? Antisocial, grumpy, tattoo artist Keith? Shiro’s brother Keith???”  
“Soo, his name is Keith?”, those were the most hopeful and adorable puppy eyes ever. Pity that it doesn’t work on his boss.  
Instead her expression turnd deadpan, “I actually believed that you have better taste.”  
“He is oddly adorable! Have you seen him? His eyes are purple! and he tilts his head when he doesn’t understand something and and and…”, Lance was totally defending himself.  
“Lance, he has a mullet.”  
That would be the reason why they are friends, same fashion taste. And the comment when Lance saw her blow up for the first time. (“If the women in my life continue to be this terrifying, I am turning full gay. Basta.”)  
“I KNOW, IT’S AWFUL!!”, he still swoons.  
The white haired woman just ends up shaking her head, “You are way beyond any help… But wait, that explains so much!! the newspaper fail? Really? Please tell me there was no air guitar incident.”  
Lance shrugs, “Maybe? Yes? I panicked!!”  
At least he has the decency to blush.

(That same evening Lance is listening to his sister while they’re doing their usual evening beauty routine.  
“He is totally an idiot, my idiot but an idiot! i barely see him when we are at school and we barely go on dates and then he just ditched me to go to the skate park with his friends! I would have gone with him! I want to see him have fun and smile and this is awful. sometimes I hate him so much!”, her pretty eyes are wide and she buries her face in Lances chest.  
“You know, you could do so much better than him? You are the prettiest little thing I know after all. after mum.”  
“Says the guy who is in love with a guy with a mullet and coffee addiction.”, she sniffs and smiles awkwardly, Lance answers with a wide grin, “Touché.”  
“Ask him out already, I want to meet him.”)

But enough of Lance for now, we still have Keith’s side to watch.  
and boy, Shiro is having the time of his life tormenting his little brother.  
The only way it counts.  
“And his eyes are so pretty, his smile is like the sun and dear god, that ASS!”  
“My voice is not that high, Shiro, shut the fuck up! Thace and Ulaz are here soon!”, Keith groans into the counter, holding a book with designs over his head to hide the massive blush on his face.  
Shiro is still imitating him with a ridiculously high voice and trying not to laugh, while grinning from ear to ear, “But I am so happy that you finally have a crush! It’s so precious! You are all over the place, blushing and making a fool of yourself. It’s adorable.”  
“I am not adorable.”  
“Keith. You are like one of those angry, fluffy, grumpy kittens, who know that they have claws, but those are so tiny and cute and drowned in fluff that it doesn’t hurt.”, still grinning the elder ducks away from a pen and catches it without breaking a sweat, “And that could have been my eye.”  
“I will end you.”, the voice is barely audible under the book and more a mumbled, jumbled mess of words than an actual sentence. Shiro still understands him and laughs.  
“You love me, baby brother.”  
“I will still kill you. With a knife.”  
“We both know that you are not allowed any stabby things beyond your needles.”  
“I am sure I can make a knife out of them…”  
Shiro snorts, “Don’t make me take those away from you as well. I’m not even sure that this would work.”  
By now Keith finally left the safety of his book and is now glaring daggers at his brother, who plastered on one of his perfect smiles, staring right back, “Try. Me.”  
Maybe we should be glad that this is the exact moment we meet Thace and Ulaz, two members of the aforementioned biker group and two really well liked customers of Voltron Tattoo.  
“Thace, Shiro is bullying me!”, Keith pouts and points at Shiro who just keeps up that innocent smile of his.  
“... I’m not sure I want to know.”, the taller man answers and looks around, “Where is Coran?”  
“At his nieces, getting coffee…”, is that a blush on Keith’s face? That is a blush on Keith’s face.  
Shiro grins, “Where your cruuuuush works!”  
Ulaz looks up, “Lance or Hunk? You’re gay, so it’s not Allura or Pidge.”  
“Pidge is cool. They like coffee.”, he hides again, “What do you want from that old man anyway?” Please stop asking. Go away.  
“There is a convention in a few weeks and he asked us to tag along, what with us being his favourite customers or something…”, Ulaz grumbles and sits down in front of Keith, “You didn’t answer my question.”  
“I don’t know his name?”, Keith shrugs, “I mean, we barely talk, he is always busy and his smile is a little bit distracting…”  
“Tall, lanky, darkish skin?”  
“Eyes like the summer sky, a smile like a sun…”, Keith smiles…. and promptly blushes, “Yeah, that guy…”  
Thace lifts an eyebrow and bites back a comment.  
Ulaz sends him a warning glance and shakes his head, “Have you asked him out yet?”  
“What? NO! No way in hell, Ulaz, you know me, I will probably insult him or something!!!”  
By now the poor boy’s face has the colour of a fire extinguisher… or his tattoos, depends on who you ask, “He… this… I…”  
Shiro almost coos at him, “My baby brother is growing up. I am so proud of him.”  
The man beside him sighs, “I like both of them too much. I don’t know, who to warn.”  
“So you know that guy?”  
“Good kid, something of a flirt, but a good guy. Listened to us while we waited for Ulaz, talked to Kolivan, discussed video games with Antok. He's… a good friend. Helped antok with his girl problems. Group chats tend to be… a little bit much and Kolivan forbade us from group-skyping after the first time. Space nerd.”  
Shiro hums, “So pretty much everything Keith is not. Social, lively… wait, space is good, they can bond.”  
“Yeah. If Keith manages to handle Lance’s more… sensitive sides. He tends to be a diva.”  
“And Keith is a drama queen. It fits.”  
There is silence on the other side, Keith is still red as hell, Ulaz is smirking.  
Maybe, just maybe, Shiro should be nice to his brother and save him.  
“Hey, Ulaz! Teasing him is still my job! Go bug your husband.”  
“Gentlemen? What is going on here?” Keith almost cries in relief when Coran walks in, coffee in hand and bag of pastries under his arm.  
Almost. He doesn’t have to give Shiro even more cannon fodder.

(Later Ulaz walks outside with Thace, they share a glance and smile at each other, “We ship it.”  
They were both smart enough to keep that one call from Lance to themselves where Lance had screamed at them that there was this guy and he was way too hot and help and crap, that was a mouse running past him but back to that guy, he is an asshole and wears a mullet and it’s terrible but he rocks it oh my god what do i do?  
Kolivan talked him out of his panic attack and then continued to give the kid actual sound advice on how to deal with the situation.  
Who would have known that he was talking about Keith of all people?  
Tell them about opposites attract…)

So now we have two pining idiots who managed to somehow get to know each other over stuttered and mumbled conversations while one was buying coffee and the other tried not to die of embarrassment. We have a group of friends who know both sides of the story, but are far too amused by this whole story to do anything.  
And we have that fateful day where both of them decide that enough is enough and they have to get over themselves and talk to the other for fucks sake.

Lance is sweating buckets when Keith walks in and gives him that awkward painful half-smile he somehow still finds gorgeous and instantly smiles back, “Hey, coffee, right? No milk, no sugar, only the spawn of hell.”  
“Yeah…”, Keith waits until Lance hands him the cup and fumbles with his hands for a second, “Sooo… I..”  
“Dinner?”, Lance blurts out and coughs, “I mean, Do you want to… I don’t know, hang out? Maybe a movie? Dinner? Something?”  
Keith stares. And stares. stares some more because, wait, “Are you an idiot?”  
Slowly Lance’s face falls and he realizes his mistake, “Wait, I messed up. I mean yes. yes, of course!”  
And there is that smile.  
Good Keith.  
Followed by a screech, “Take that damned thing away from me!” With Lance jumping on the table and focusing all his attention on the tiny, adorable mouse sitting in front of them and looking up at them.  
Keith sighs.  
Hunk dies of cuteness in the back and then of laughter when he sees Lance on the table, screaming like a girl and his crush running after something small and grey, cursing the whole time.  
Upstairs, Allura accidentally drinks Pidge’s concoction and almost spits it all over her computer. 

(Their dates are awkward and weird until they find out that they both like cats and space. And cartoons about giant robots fighting evil and a precious cast filled with absolute nerds trying to save the universe.)

(“Hey, Keith?”  
“Hm?”  
“I’m in loaf with you.”  
“.... after all this time and you use this joke now?!”)

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo... This mess started when I was on Voltron Amno and scrolling through the featured feed. and there it was. The picture I fell in love wth (And laughed my head off)  
> If anyone here knows nb-orbit on there, that baker!Lance and TattooArtist!Keith AU. It's glorious. I was planning on putting a link here but my computer sucks XD It won't open the page :(  
> And I asked whether I was allowed to write something for it, got the okay and this monster happened. I was planning what? A few drabbles? Headcanons maybe, something short, two pages, nothing more....  
> Nine pages. NINE.  
> And hours of research omg.  
> (Crush fails are way too funny. Perfect for a bad day XD)  
> And yeah.  
> I am in that corner over there poking my hands back to life.  
> Zinae out^^


End file.
